By Faith, Not Feeling

This post was written by TeenPact Student Body Representative Anna Claire Williams of Mississippi.

Sometimes the Lord takes us though a spiritual desert in order to reveal that He is the only one that can quench our thirst. The dryness won’t make sense. At least, it didn’t make sense to me. About three years ago, a tumor was found in my left eye; in the same week, my dear grandfather was diagnosed with terminal cancer. As a result of our ailments, He passed away just four months later and I became permanently blind in my left eye. It was the hardest year of my life.

All throughout that time, I couldn’t hear God; I couldn’t see Him; and I really couldn’t feel Him. And I remember crying out to Him and praying, “God, why? Why is all of this happening? Why can’t I hear you? Why does it feel like you aren’t with me?”

I was desperate for His presence, His comfort, His voice.

I constantly pleaded with Him to speak to me, to guide me, to show me something, just a glimpse of His purpose for this suffering. He did not allow me to see part of His plan until more than a year later when a friend of mine told me that a cancerous tumor was found in her eye. Throughout her treatment process, I was able to relate with her in some areas, having just gone through a similar traumatic experience. She texted me one day and said, “You have no idea what a comfort it is to know that someone has gone through this before me.”

Through that text message, it was as if God pointed and said, “That. That is just a glimpse of why I have brought you through what I did.” Then, it all seemed worth it. The pain, the loss, and the silence that I went through was meant for reasons much to big for me to fathom.

This past spring was another silent season. I was discouraged because I thought it would be one of the most spiritually rich times of my life, but it was quite the opposite: it was quiet, no jaw dropping revelations, no nights over come by emotion, no confident feelings that He was present.

But, oh, how necessary!

Often times, whether we are at TeenPact or other spiritually focused events, a lot of us experience a so called ‘spiritual high’. Those mountain top experiences, when you literally feel like Jesus is right beside you, are indescribable. But the Lord will deprive us of those emotional floods to teach us the He is so much bigger than just a feeling. Feelings are easy, but faith is hard. 2 Corinthians 5:6-7 says, “Therefore, being always of good courage, and knowing that while we are at home in the body we are absent from the Lord – for we walk by faith, not by sight.” While we are on this earth, we will never fully know or feel the entire presence of God. When discouraged with silence or lack of feeling, don’t lose heart, my friend! Following Christ is having faith in the unseen AND the un-felt.

Cling to His promises. Pray scripture, God’s own words, back to Him. Plead for His presence, but plead with faith knowing that He hears you.

Promises like Isaiah 41:10, “Do not fear, for I am with you.” are all throughout the Bible. Search for those covenants and grip on to them, knowing that, what God promises, He is able to perform.

In times of spiritual drought, don’t be quick to doubt who your God is or who you have placed your faith in, because it says in Zephaniah 3:17, that “He will be quiet in His love.”

It’s hard to push through the lonely quiet right now, but how much sweeter it will be when He reveals Himself again.

Oswald Chambers spurs on the ones struggling to live by faith: “Wait on God and He will work… Faith must be tested…Believe steadfastly on Him and all you come up against will develop your faith…those years of silence were a time of discipline, not displeasure.”

Continue to walk by faith, my friends, not by feeling.

Representative Anna Claire Williams

*This post was updated on 11/12/2018.